I was taking a nap and had to dreams of different extremes, and I feel like blogging them.
The first one opened up with a guy looking at dirty poster and seemed like an episode of some show on MTV where they would bust a guy in front of his girl, making him out to be a really big perv/jerk or something. Eventually I took the role of this guy on and throughout the show they kept stting me up but I kept figuring out how to avoid looking like a jerk, Also ist happened to be my birthday and people kept giving me gifts. Anyway something happened and Crystal was about to leave and go home whentwo guys who were with me the entire "episode" dogpiled me and said, "wait we have one more gift for you man" in a suggestive way. Then they pulled this rolled up poster and started unrolling it slowly, one of them started making cat calls. Crystal looked disgusted and left, I couldn't move to stop her. Guy 2 grabbed the poster from guy 1 and said, "woooowie!" At this point I was pretty angry but when they turned the poster to face me it was just a photo of Crystal in a beautiful white dress and ifnally they got off my back. I don't know why, but I felt that the picture was some kind of picture of an important moment in my life, like Prom or something (though I can't recall Crystal wearing any dress like this) and I ran to the window and banged on it and putting the picture against the window, I started crying because of how beautiful she looked in the picture. She turned around from where she was on the sidewalk and smiled at me. I woke up.
Dream two I was visiting Crystal at some.. place, it was a vacation spot of some kind, there was a pool and people in swimwear. We weren't together the whole time, instead I was always busy trying to get snacks or find someone else or something, I can't totally remember. Anyway, there were a bunch of peopel there and everyone had something mean to say to me and I just felt like trash. There were people from my life and random people I've never met just being plain mean, I couldn't get a break from anyone at all. The few times I WAS with Crystal she seemed almost to ignore me and talk to these other people who were being mean to me and she wouldn't do anything to stop them or even look at me to show she was sorry for her friends' behavior. Also, she seemed meaner and more, I don't know how to explain it, "normal?" More callous to my feelings, only wanting to have fun and laughing at cruel jokes about people like her friends "fag" jokes and other demeaning sort of things. I don't know, she seemed like one of those peopel one Jackass for some reason, that I really dislike. Finally we had a class together and we had to walk quite a distance, the entire walk was an awkward silence, like she didn't want to talk to me and I couldn't think of anything to say. During the class even teh teacher was berating me and I couldn't take it anymore, I got up and left. She got up and came after me and I don't know why but I felt the needto get away from that place, so I ran as fast as I could, and did things to try and bar her way, lock doors, etc. I get back to the beach and she just goes back and hangs out with her two asshole friends and I start to walk towards the snackbar (not sure why, since I wanted to leave). She yelled after me, "This is who I am now, deal with it!" I turned around ran at her, yelling, "What happened to the Crystal I loved!?" And then I see the flash of a knife and fell a stabbing pain in my back. Falling, I wake up.
One right after the other, I don't know how to feel right now.
The first one opened up with a guy looking at dirty poster and seemed like an episode of some show on MTV where they would bust a guy in front of his girl, making him out to be a really big perv/jerk or something. Eventually I took the role of this guy on and throughout the show they kept stting me up but I kept figuring out how to avoid looking like a jerk, Also ist happened to be my birthday and people kept giving me gifts. Anyway something happened and Crystal was about to leave and go home whentwo guys who were with me the entire "episode" dogpiled me and said, "wait we have one more gift for you man" in a suggestive way. Then they pulled this rolled up poster and started unrolling it slowly, one of them started making cat calls. Crystal looked disgusted and left, I couldn't move to stop her. Guy 2 grabbed the poster from guy 1 and said, "woooowie!" At this point I was pretty angry but when they turned the poster to face me it was just a photo of Crystal in a beautiful white dress and ifnally they got off my back. I don't know why, but I felt that the picture was some kind of picture of an important moment in my life, like Prom or something (though I can't recall Crystal wearing any dress like this) and I ran to the window and banged on it and putting the picture against the window, I started crying because of how beautiful she looked in the picture. She turned around from where she was on the sidewalk and smiled at me. I woke up.
Dream two I was visiting Crystal at some.. place, it was a vacation spot of some kind, there was a pool and people in swimwear. We weren't together the whole time, instead I was always busy trying to get snacks or find someone else or something, I can't totally remember. Anyway, there were a bunch of peopel there and everyone had something mean to say to me and I just felt like trash. There were people from my life and random people I've never met just being plain mean, I couldn't get a break from anyone at all. The few times I WAS with Crystal she seemed almost to ignore me and talk to these other people who were being mean to me and she wouldn't do anything to stop them or even look at me to show she was sorry for her friends' behavior. Also, she seemed meaner and more, I don't know how to explain it, "normal?" More callous to my feelings, only wanting to have fun and laughing at cruel jokes about people like her friends "fag" jokes and other demeaning sort of things. I don't know, she seemed like one of those peopel one Jackass for some reason, that I really dislike. Finally we had a class together and we had to walk quite a distance, the entire walk was an awkward silence, like she didn't want to talk to me and I couldn't think of anything to say. During the class even teh teacher was berating me and I couldn't take it anymore, I got up and left. She got up and came after me and I don't know why but I felt the needto get away from that place, so I ran as fast as I could, and did things to try and bar her way, lock doors, etc. I get back to the beach and she just goes back and hangs out with her two asshole friends and I start to walk towards the snackbar (not sure why, since I wanted to leave). She yelled after me, "This is who I am now, deal with it!" I turned around ran at her, yelling, "What happened to the Crystal I loved!?" And then I see the flash of a knife and fell a stabbing pain in my back. Falling, I wake up.
One right after the other, I don't know how to feel right now.
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